One day, I was talking with Father Michael and when I looked up at him, he saw my eyes watering and immediately he said, “stop beating yourself up.
“ We were not even talking about anything that had to do with me. So I thought I would take the opportunity to ask if he could help me.
So I proceeded to think and organize my thoughts, as to find what triggers the thoughts that proceed to beat on me.
As soon as I would start to speak and try to express into words what the feelings or thoughts were, he would again say, “stop beating yourself up.”
Not discouraged, but even more focused on trying my best to get to the bottom of this roller-coaster of thoughts that beat on me, I again began to speak.
And once again Father Michael stopped me and said, “stop beating yourself up.”
I then understood, that in trying to think of those things, I in turn was actually causing harm to myself and beating my self up.
So the lesson learned was to stop that thought process and not even go there.
Just stop it. Don’t think of those things.
I can only think that as we are discussing on Viber and Father asks two simple questions: “Did anyone shun murmuring? How did you do with it?”
And after every answer he says, “stop speculating! Do it!”
The answer... (if you have indeed shunned murmuring) is “yes”.
And how did you do it? .... end of discussion - done, I stopped it and didn’t listen, and now I’m moving on!
The definition of speculation is the forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence.