Being a dedicated mother and a diligent professional, I am used to make decisions, solve problems, and being 'in control'. There is nothing wrong about that, it is necessary to responsibly fulfill my two duties.
Recently I was going through some spiritual turmoil, which I had been trying to 'solve'.
I asked a very holy Priest for help and guidance, he kindly explained that -in humility and in truth- we must acknowledge that we are 'nothing', and that instead of trying to control and solve our spiritual trials, we must acknowledge our nothingness and beg our Merciful Lord to take over, and with complete trust and surrender, submit to his will, and beg him to reign in us.
Matthew 16:24: Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me"
Giving up all useless attempt of control and humbly asking The Lord to take over, sounds to me like denying oneself.
John 14:23 tells us: Jesus replied, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them".
Obeying the Lord's teachings over my own criteria, to only be left to the Mercy of his will, also tastes like self-denial.....Finally renouncing to my ways...how liberating!
The faithful Lord fulfilled his biblical promise and took over. It had never been my duty or within my power to do what I was attempting to do, according to St. Augustine, 'only He can do that'.